It seems that every few years we find ourselves at similar crossroads. I have come to regard this as chapters to our family story.
Since I married my Cat in 2001, we have moved (not counting our first place together) about five times. We have now experienced moving as a couple, as a family with an infant, as a family with an infant and preschooler, as a family with a preschooler and school age child and now as a family with two school age children. Each move a chapter, a new learning experience with new challenges.
We just closed another chapter this week saying good-bye to friends,
school and work once more and now we embark on our good-byes to family.
It is a sad, exciting, stressful, happy time in our lives. But, as I tell
Thing 1 & Thing 2, good-byes are as important as hello. Good-byes
free us to move on to the next chapter.
People keep asking me when we are leaving the country. Right now, I am visiting with my family and trying my best to focus on the present and enjoy my time with them, as I did with my friends in Virginia. Focusing on what's to come breeds anxiety and dwelling on the parts of our lives we leave behind breeds depression, neither of wish is welcome at this time of our lives. We will have plenty of time to dwell on leaving the country while we are at the airport finalizing this last chapter.
Monday, June 11, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
From Low to High Tech
It's been over a year since we heard the news that we would be relocating to Vienna, Austria in 2012. We are now 6 weeks from departure.
In the madness of the change that is upon us, I was reminiscing as I cleaned up the rest of this blog. Reading through them again I was amazed at how so much has changed in 3 1/2 years since we arrived back in the United States. I remember arriving to this new iPhone thingy that was really frustrating to operate at first. It has now become an appendage - without it I feel naked. I used to feel that way about my watch, but I haven't worn a watch in about 2 years thanks to the iPhone's multifunctionality.
The last time we moved away I had a 1st generation iPod. Just played music, no frills. When we moved to Warsaw, I had a backpack filled with actual books and my only entertainment other than music was the in-flight movie. The kids had a DVD player. This DVD player was left on a plane with a ton of DVDs more than once. Each time we were able to retrieve it intact (Germans are very honest people), but until we received it, it was like our travel entertainment was lost. While I was in Warsaw, the Cat upgraded me to an iPod with video that was quickly hijacked by my two young children who were never bored on a trip again. And forget trip! That device entertained my then infant/toddler on many trips to the grocery store and anywhere where she had to be restrained.
Today, the iPod is pretty much history. We just upgraded to an iPhone 4S and I hope that Siri can become my language coach as I speak German to her and she corrects me.
In my backpack, I will have my iPad loaded with books and my magazine subscriptions from the last few years as well as movies I actually want to see and even TV shows I have yet to watch thanks to the beauty of my TIVO desktop. In addition, it contains my P90X and TurboFire workouts that i will hook up to the TV and will no doubt keep me on track throughout the summer.
The kids...well between their iTouch and iPads loaded with games, books, movies and shows, we better not hear a peep!
We already had VOIP during our last posting although now there is a Skype app that can initiate a video call wherever you are. And texting, well there is an app that provides me with a USA number where anyone can text me and I receive it on my phone overseas. What did expats do 20 years ago? There has never been a better time to be an expat!
We had files when we last left the country. Over the course of the last few months, I have scanned every paper/file that could possibly be scanned and backed it up several times. This summer in between being a tourist in my new city, I will be tackling pictures.
I hear a flying car is in the works. Maybe for a future posting...the age of the Jetsons is here!
In the madness of the change that is upon us, I was reminiscing as I cleaned up the rest of this blog. Reading through them again I was amazed at how so much has changed in 3 1/2 years since we arrived back in the United States. I remember arriving to this new iPhone thingy that was really frustrating to operate at first. It has now become an appendage - without it I feel naked. I used to feel that way about my watch, but I haven't worn a watch in about 2 years thanks to the iPhone's multifunctionality.
The last time we moved away I had a 1st generation iPod. Just played music, no frills. When we moved to Warsaw, I had a backpack filled with actual books and my only entertainment other than music was the in-flight movie. The kids had a DVD player. This DVD player was left on a plane with a ton of DVDs more than once. Each time we were able to retrieve it intact (Germans are very honest people), but until we received it, it was like our travel entertainment was lost. While I was in Warsaw, the Cat upgraded me to an iPod with video that was quickly hijacked by my two young children who were never bored on a trip again. And forget trip! That device entertained my then infant/toddler on many trips to the grocery store and anywhere where she had to be restrained.
Today, the iPod is pretty much history. We just upgraded to an iPhone 4S and I hope that Siri can become my language coach as I speak German to her and she corrects me.
In my backpack, I will have my iPad loaded with books and my magazine subscriptions from the last few years as well as movies I actually want to see and even TV shows I have yet to watch thanks to the beauty of my TIVO desktop. In addition, it contains my P90X and TurboFire workouts that i will hook up to the TV and will no doubt keep me on track throughout the summer.
The kids...well between their iTouch and iPads loaded with games, books, movies and shows, we better not hear a peep!
We already had VOIP during our last posting although now there is a Skype app that can initiate a video call wherever you are. And texting, well there is an app that provides me with a USA number where anyone can text me and I receive it on my phone overseas. What did expats do 20 years ago? There has never been a better time to be an expat!
We had files when we last left the country. Over the course of the last few months, I have scanned every paper/file that could possibly be scanned and backed it up several times. This summer in between being a tourist in my new city, I will be tackling pictures.
I hear a flying car is in the works. Maybe for a future posting...the age of the Jetsons is here!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Here we go again....
Well, it looks like it is time to revive this blog. Got the call last Thursday afternoon....husband says we're going to Vienna as I was busy documenting at work. I said "oh that's nice" thinking he was talking about us going out locally in Vienna, VA. He then tells me, "Vienna, Austria, hun".
Now mind you, I always knew that moving was a possibility. But my husband only applied for the most coveted of spots: Vienna and Rome. There was one job for his discipline at each locale and multiple qualified applicants. When he drove me crazy this year (as he does every year) with the possible offerings for the following year, I gave my two cents along with my blessing and he applied, never imagining that he would actually get one of these spots. We were both fine if we had to stay put.
But, when he said those words that set my life into another trajectory, I can't even begin to explain the feelings that went through me: elation (at the thought of moving to a place I have wanted to live in before I even met my husband), sadness (at the thought of leaving a passion that I call a job and all the patients who have taught me so much over the last couple of years), and overwhelmed (by both the move before us, the practical loose ends that need tying as well as the opportunities abound) to name a few.
On a positive note, I have 15 months for my mind to catch up with reality. Last time around, our assignments got switched from Stockholm to Warsaw within months of moving and we had to do all the planning from FL which isn't helpful when all the people responsible for the different aspects of the move are located in Washington DC. This will be a much smoother move (so I hope).
My husband broke the news to my son before I had a chance to say stop. The boy needs much care in transitioning to yet another move as he is the sensitive type. However, we felt better when picking him up the following day from school. His after care providers shared that he was telling everyone about moving to Vienna. He has already requested a trip to the Lego World (a conference in Denmark for Lego fanatics) while we are there. Makes me feel better! We also looked up his potential school as well as Tae Kwon Do studios there and he was excited to see that his life will be somewhat normal with a German sound track.
The little one is about the same age as her brother was when we first moved overseas. She remembers some people from her toddler life, but I don't think she quite understands. I am not too worried about her though. Her personality will help her immensely. Plus, it makes the decision about kindergarten next year much easier - I'm paying for private K to keep her where she is at so she does not need to change schools twice in two years.
But before the adventures begin, lots of prep is required, beginning with gaining some functional knowledge of the German language. Auf Wiedersehen for now!
Now mind you, I always knew that moving was a possibility. But my husband only applied for the most coveted of spots: Vienna and Rome. There was one job for his discipline at each locale and multiple qualified applicants. When he drove me crazy this year (as he does every year) with the possible offerings for the following year, I gave my two cents along with my blessing and he applied, never imagining that he would actually get one of these spots. We were both fine if we had to stay put.
But, when he said those words that set my life into another trajectory, I can't even begin to explain the feelings that went through me: elation (at the thought of moving to a place I have wanted to live in before I even met my husband), sadness (at the thought of leaving a passion that I call a job and all the patients who have taught me so much over the last couple of years), and overwhelmed (by both the move before us, the practical loose ends that need tying as well as the opportunities abound) to name a few.
On a positive note, I have 15 months for my mind to catch up with reality. Last time around, our assignments got switched from Stockholm to Warsaw within months of moving and we had to do all the planning from FL which isn't helpful when all the people responsible for the different aspects of the move are located in Washington DC. This will be a much smoother move (so I hope).
My husband broke the news to my son before I had a chance to say stop. The boy needs much care in transitioning to yet another move as he is the sensitive type. However, we felt better when picking him up the following day from school. His after care providers shared that he was telling everyone about moving to Vienna. He has already requested a trip to the Lego World (a conference in Denmark for Lego fanatics) while we are there. Makes me feel better! We also looked up his potential school as well as Tae Kwon Do studios there and he was excited to see that his life will be somewhat normal with a German sound track.
The little one is about the same age as her brother was when we first moved overseas. She remembers some people from her toddler life, but I don't think she quite understands. I am not too worried about her though. Her personality will help her immensely. Plus, it makes the decision about kindergarten next year much easier - I'm paying for private K to keep her where she is at so she does not need to change schools twice in two years.
But before the adventures begin, lots of prep is required, beginning with gaining some functional knowledge of the German language. Auf Wiedersehen for now!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
"Boxes, Boxes, Everywhere...
...in the hall and on the stairs."
This is a line from a childrens' book I bought for Thing 1 when we first moved overseas. Thing 1 moved on to a more appropriate school age book and I used this one with Thing 2 who repeated this line over an over when the movers packed us up in Poland.
And today I sit here as the boxes are stacked up around me. I have realized a few things in the days since our household effects were delivered.
1) We have too much stuff. In addition to the boxes around me, we now have a garage filled from top to bottom, backwards and forwards with stuff.
2) We don't really need any of this stuff. When you are forced to live without your things for 4 months, you realize that you really can live with out it. I don't know if the same is true about my iPhone though. For the last 2 months after our corporate lease expired, we have all been sleeping on air mattresses on the floor. It is pretty humbling, but you begin to realize that you don't even "need" a bed. Although I am very pleased to have my bed (my select comfort adjustable bed that doesn't wake me when my husband moves) to sleep on. In a way, I appreciate my bed that much more.
3) As unnerving as it is to have all this clutter around me, I am pleasantly surprised at what deep breathing exercises and focusing on the bigger picture can do. Those of you who know me KNOW that I need to be in a fairly organized environment. Years of self analysis have made me understand that this stems from the loss of control I felt when I lost of my father. You can't control people, so I control my environment. So, if I find myself under great stress or distress, you can bet that my house, car, and office, are neat and organized. This is my neurosis. It is very hard to not have a panic attack when your form of coping has been hijacked. However, I have managed, and after sitting with these boxes for a few days and lots of breathing, er...hyperventilation), I am no longer bothered by them. They will be going away today if I have any say in it.
4) It is amazing how many memories are tied into these things we own. The few boxes I have opened brought back memories from our life in Warsaw and some things even have the scent of our old house. In one box, I even found Polish dust bunnies that would so annoy me back then - now they just made me smile. This is why people who live overseas end up with so much stuff in storage - the memories of those items can make it difficult to part with them.
Today is unpacking day. It is going to be 87 degrees here today and my mission is to find my summer clothing somewhere in this mess. In fact the only mission I have is to find my clothing, bathroom stuff and kitchen stuff. Everything else can just rot in the garage until our next move this August.
There is a garage sale in my future.
This is a line from a childrens' book I bought for Thing 1 when we first moved overseas. Thing 1 moved on to a more appropriate school age book and I used this one with Thing 2 who repeated this line over an over when the movers packed us up in Poland.
And today I sit here as the boxes are stacked up around me. I have realized a few things in the days since our household effects were delivered.
1) We have too much stuff. In addition to the boxes around me, we now have a garage filled from top to bottom, backwards and forwards with stuff.
2) We don't really need any of this stuff. When you are forced to live without your things for 4 months, you realize that you really can live with out it. I don't know if the same is true about my iPhone though. For the last 2 months after our corporate lease expired, we have all been sleeping on air mattresses on the floor. It is pretty humbling, but you begin to realize that you don't even "need" a bed. Although I am very pleased to have my bed (my select comfort adjustable bed that doesn't wake me when my husband moves) to sleep on. In a way, I appreciate my bed that much more.
3) As unnerving as it is to have all this clutter around me, I am pleasantly surprised at what deep breathing exercises and focusing on the bigger picture can do. Those of you who know me KNOW that I need to be in a fairly organized environment. Years of self analysis have made me understand that this stems from the loss of control I felt when I lost of my father. You can't control people, so I control my environment. So, if I find myself under great stress or distress, you can bet that my house, car, and office, are neat and organized. This is my neurosis. It is very hard to not have a panic attack when your form of coping has been hijacked. However, I have managed, and after sitting with these boxes for a few days and lots of breathing, er...hyperventilation), I am no longer bothered by them. They will be going away today if I have any say in it.
4) It is amazing how many memories are tied into these things we own. The few boxes I have opened brought back memories from our life in Warsaw and some things even have the scent of our old house. In one box, I even found Polish dust bunnies that would so annoy me back then - now they just made me smile. This is why people who live overseas end up with so much stuff in storage - the memories of those items can make it difficult to part with them.
Today is unpacking day. It is going to be 87 degrees here today and my mission is to find my summer clothing somewhere in this mess. In fact the only mission I have is to find my clothing, bathroom stuff and kitchen stuff. Everything else can just rot in the garage until our next move this August.
There is a garage sale in my future.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Reverse Culture Shock
We have now been back in our country for about 2 months. Things are certainly looking up, but just when you think you have completed the hurdle something comes along to remind you that this was not the case.
McDonald’s is one of those American staples that whether you like it or not, it is a source of comfort just knowing that one is around. In Warsaw, the Wilanow McDonald’s was that anchor, centrally located in the expat community. I am not a big fan of McDonalds, but every once in a while I would allow the kids to have some Kurczak McNuggets in an effort to provide a little bit of America to them. My kids loved going there, not necessarily for the meal, but for the toy. In European McDonalds’, children are given a choice of toys. You can get the same toy over and over or you can add a bit of variety.
Flash forward to our most recent visit to the golden arches where my son is shocked to find that he has no choice. It is one toy for one and all. If you ask me, that’s a bit socialist, don’t you think?
McDonald’s is one of those American staples that whether you like it or not, it is a source of comfort just knowing that one is around. In Warsaw, the Wilanow McDonald’s was that anchor, centrally located in the expat community. I am not a big fan of McDonalds, but every once in a while I would allow the kids to have some Kurczak McNuggets in an effort to provide a little bit of America to them. My kids loved going there, not necessarily for the meal, but for the toy. In European McDonalds’, children are given a choice of toys. You can get the same toy over and over or you can add a bit of variety.
Flash forward to our most recent visit to the golden arches where my son is shocked to find that he has no choice. It is one toy for one and all. If you ask me, that’s a bit socialist, don’t you think?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Moving back to your country - A kid's perspective
We adults get so caught up in all the hoopla of moving home that it is easy to forget that your little people are also adjusting. I noticed several things this week with my children that I just never gave any thought.
Here are just a few of those observations:
I have never seen someone as delighted by a walk in closet than Thing 2. Then, it dawned on me, that my now cognizant daughter, has never really had a closet. She has lived out of a wardrobe her whole life. She is thrilled by her new found "house" as she calls it.
The obsession with sunlight is also quite interesting. After being in the land of 3pm sunsets, both kids are constantly talking about the sun. It is finally shining on them and they couldn't be more pleased. I feel the same way.
I have always taken off my shoes at the door simply because my OCD mom instilled this in to me. After having kids, i became ever more obsessed with not tracking in dirt. In other parts of the world (not just Japan), it is customary to remove your shoes when entering a home. So was the case in Poland where you even keep slippers for your guests in your home. This is not the case in most of America and now I have to constantly remind my children to keep their shoes on especially in school where children don't change into indoor shoes.
Most little people don't have a clue about what you are talking about when you tell them you lived overseas. At this age, most haven't been out of the country. So, they really have no interest in hearing about all the great places you traveled to because they have no idea what or where that is. Knowing this, I had a talk with Thing 1 telling him not to talk too much about his experience abroad unless kids actually express interest (which I highly doubt).
What caught me by surprise the most was the pledge of allegiance! I think the last time I recited the pledge of allegiance was in high school. Like most Americans, I also stand for the national anthem which I have more recently done at sporting events. But, I never gave a thought to the fact that my 6 year old has never been to school in America and did not know the pledge of allegiance. You don't pledge allegiance to the United States when you are in an overseas school. He didn't know what it was. So when we were in his new school earlier in the week and all the kids stood for the pledge, Thing 1 just sat at his desk. We were there for his first day and had to teach him what to do (stand, right hand over heart, recite). So, heads up, expats - teach your kids the pledge or at least tell them about this school custom if you are coming back to the US.
I will add to this list as I notice more in the coming weeks. I am sure it will a take a few months to adjust.
Here are just a few of those observations:
I have never seen someone as delighted by a walk in closet than Thing 2. Then, it dawned on me, that my now cognizant daughter, has never really had a closet. She has lived out of a wardrobe her whole life. She is thrilled by her new found "house" as she calls it.
The obsession with sunlight is also quite interesting. After being in the land of 3pm sunsets, both kids are constantly talking about the sun. It is finally shining on them and they couldn't be more pleased. I feel the same way.
I have always taken off my shoes at the door simply because my OCD mom instilled this in to me. After having kids, i became ever more obsessed with not tracking in dirt. In other parts of the world (not just Japan), it is customary to remove your shoes when entering a home. So was the case in Poland where you even keep slippers for your guests in your home. This is not the case in most of America and now I have to constantly remind my children to keep their shoes on especially in school where children don't change into indoor shoes.
Most little people don't have a clue about what you are talking about when you tell them you lived overseas. At this age, most haven't been out of the country. So, they really have no interest in hearing about all the great places you traveled to because they have no idea what or where that is. Knowing this, I had a talk with Thing 1 telling him not to talk too much about his experience abroad unless kids actually express interest (which I highly doubt).
What caught me by surprise the most was the pledge of allegiance! I think the last time I recited the pledge of allegiance was in high school. Like most Americans, I also stand for the national anthem which I have more recently done at sporting events. But, I never gave a thought to the fact that my 6 year old has never been to school in America and did not know the pledge of allegiance. You don't pledge allegiance to the United States when you are in an overseas school. He didn't know what it was. So when we were in his new school earlier in the week and all the kids stood for the pledge, Thing 1 just sat at his desk. We were there for his first day and had to teach him what to do (stand, right hand over heart, recite). So, heads up, expats - teach your kids the pledge or at least tell them about this school custom if you are coming back to the US.
I will add to this list as I notice more in the coming weeks. I am sure it will a take a few months to adjust.
Moving back to your country - or trying not to lose your mind over 60 days!
After 2 1/2 years in Warsaw, Poland, our family moved back to VA over the holidays. After a two glorious weeks in warm, sunny, Florida, we made our way back to chilly Virginia where an ice storm was expected in the coming days.
This moving back thing is actually harder than moving away. I had read this previously, but didn't quite understand why moving back to your own country would be so difficult. Visiting seemed so easy. I felt so at home. It also took place in Florida where I am a native and know most of the state like the back of my hand.
Now, we are back in Virginia where I am not a native and have not lived here for 6 years. It feels every bit as foreign as Warsaw did initially. This area has changed alot in 6 years. I am completely disoriented and my GPS, which I relied on in Warsaw, is not as up to date on the new roads in Virginia. I feel nauseated everytime I get into the car mostly because after that trip to and from FL I have no desire to be in a car.
Going to the store is as overwhelming as it was shopping in Warsaw for the first time. This time, the problem is choices (with price coming in a close second!). There are so many (in English) that I find myself overwhelmed. I long for forced choice! Everything looks different and I keep trying to turn on lights outside the doors instead of inside. I pull doors instead of pushing them. There is certainly some readjustment to be done. We stopped at Disney World for one day on our way back up here and I felt more at home there with all the foreigners speaking all their different languages than I do now.
Moving back home you receive no support other than from those arranging the delivery of your household effects and that takes forever. There is no housekeeper to clean my house or do my laundry or watch my 2 year old. A second job is required for those luxuries including preschool for that 2 year old which I am fervently working on as I write. You don't get a welcome home packet with crucial information like schools, doctors, vets, etc. Nor do you get your home and utilities provided and paid for by a third party. You are truly on your own now. Good luck and welcome home!
There are certainly lots of pluses to being back. The best by far is hearing English or Spanish spoken everywhere. Being able to access all those services I mentioned above without having to learn a new language or bringing an interpreter is a relief. Living abroad gives you a certainly love and appreciation for your home country that you would not otherwise have or understand.
America is far from perfect and I am sure I could make a list of everything that is done better in Europe (focus on family, first and foremost). But I am so grateful to live in a country that has wide open roads, where I don't have to do mathematical equations to convert everything to the Metric system (although i think the entire world should have a uniform system), where the bureaucracy is not as overwhelming and where you can take care of much of that bureaucratic stuff on-line, where people stop at intersections (stop sign or not!), where you don't have to pay for your plastic bags or bag your own groceries or even leave a coin deposit for your shopping cart, where I don't have to weigh produce, where parking spaces are clearly marked and sidewalks are meant for walking (even if I feel urges to jump on that sidewalk from time to time), where people know what a parade is and where to stand for one, and even, as overwhelming as it all is right now, where there is variety in just about everything.
Yes, I think it is safe to say, I love being home!
This moving back thing is actually harder than moving away. I had read this previously, but didn't quite understand why moving back to your own country would be so difficult. Visiting seemed so easy. I felt so at home. It also took place in Florida where I am a native and know most of the state like the back of my hand.
Now, we are back in Virginia where I am not a native and have not lived here for 6 years. It feels every bit as foreign as Warsaw did initially. This area has changed alot in 6 years. I am completely disoriented and my GPS, which I relied on in Warsaw, is not as up to date on the new roads in Virginia. I feel nauseated everytime I get into the car mostly because after that trip to and from FL I have no desire to be in a car.
Going to the store is as overwhelming as it was shopping in Warsaw for the first time. This time, the problem is choices (with price coming in a close second!). There are so many (in English) that I find myself overwhelmed. I long for forced choice! Everything looks different and I keep trying to turn on lights outside the doors instead of inside. I pull doors instead of pushing them. There is certainly some readjustment to be done. We stopped at Disney World for one day on our way back up here and I felt more at home there with all the foreigners speaking all their different languages than I do now.
Moving back home you receive no support other than from those arranging the delivery of your household effects and that takes forever. There is no housekeeper to clean my house or do my laundry or watch my 2 year old. A second job is required for those luxuries including preschool for that 2 year old which I am fervently working on as I write. You don't get a welcome home packet with crucial information like schools, doctors, vets, etc. Nor do you get your home and utilities provided and paid for by a third party. You are truly on your own now. Good luck and welcome home!
There are certainly lots of pluses to being back. The best by far is hearing English or Spanish spoken everywhere. Being able to access all those services I mentioned above without having to learn a new language or bringing an interpreter is a relief. Living abroad gives you a certainly love and appreciation for your home country that you would not otherwise have or understand.
America is far from perfect and I am sure I could make a list of everything that is done better in Europe (focus on family, first and foremost). But I am so grateful to live in a country that has wide open roads, where I don't have to do mathematical equations to convert everything to the Metric system (although i think the entire world should have a uniform system), where the bureaucracy is not as overwhelming and where you can take care of much of that bureaucratic stuff on-line, where people stop at intersections (stop sign or not!), where you don't have to pay for your plastic bags or bag your own groceries or even leave a coin deposit for your shopping cart, where I don't have to weigh produce, where parking spaces are clearly marked and sidewalks are meant for walking (even if I feel urges to jump on that sidewalk from time to time), where people know what a parade is and where to stand for one, and even, as overwhelming as it all is right now, where there is variety in just about everything.
Yes, I think it is safe to say, I love being home!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
