Saying Good-bye

Saying goodbye is never easy, whether it comes when you expect it or when you least expect it. I have spent the last few weeks going through the moving motions and now all that is left to focus on is what I wish I didn't have to do so soon.

I have made wonderful friends here in Warsaw. Some through our Embassy, some native Poles and many from almost every continent in the world. My only regret is that I did not get to know them sooner. There is a grief process to be had here and I am still somewhere in the first three stages. I am a bit hesitant to move in the 4th because it is depression and I don't do well with that. I think that all of this will hit me in January when the holiday buzz is gone, Thing 1 starts a new school and I go back to work. So until I have my breakdown and eventually accept all this, I will keep in touch through my virtual world and pretend that all of them are just a few kilometers away. And hope that there are some great drugs to help me get through it!

Today was especially hard. Saying good bye to my friends from Mums and Tots was difficult because the group itself offered so much support to me during those early days in cold, dark Warsaw. Some of these special people have moved on. But, I still remember my first meeting where I met Marjolein from the Netherlands. Little did I know then that we would be literally taking over the group within months as postmaster and webmaster for 2 years. Both of our kids were babies then. I met a very pregnant Ambra from Canada when I was selling Thing 2's baby furniture last summer. She bought Thing 2's bedroom/crib set, but we had so much in common that we became friends right away. Now Zoe is almost 5 months old and delights in hearing us talk. I met Marisa quite by accident. I noticed on the membership list that her son and Thing 2 shared a birthday. She was also from California so we started emailing, calling and started setting up play dates with our kids. While I didn't get to see her too much once she started her business, when I got together with her recently, it was as if I had seen her yesterday. Through it all these friends from all over helped with all the WTF moments that came with living in Poland. How else would I have known to make sure that my kids wear hats even in the spring to avoid dirty looks or reprimands from older Polish, well meaning women!

Agnieszka, Alicja, and Joanna are my Polish friends who were more eager to practice their English than I was in learning Polish. While our hectic schedules made it hard for us to see each other often, we did share in some nice playdates, meals and outings with and without our children. They have also been very supportive and helpful to this foreigner trying to figure things out in Poland. Without them, I would have never found sand for Thing 2's sand table last summer (all of which I just threw out yesterday, by the way), or learned to make pierogies with Aga, or I would have been stuck in traffic for hours near Wroclaw on the way to Prague had I not listened to Joanna who told me to avoid Piotr Trybunalski at all cost! Little things that make a big difference. There are many more friends like this, but these are the ones I spent the most time with. All of you have made my experience in Warsaw that much more pleasant.

And, I cannot end my ode to friends with out mentioning Kylie aka Slightly Cracked, my fellow blogger in crime/real life friend, who has to be as neurotic as me. I remember meeting her and her family while ice skating last year. Thing 2 confused her husband Thrifty Expat for Josh on the rink and hugged his leg and thus a connection was made. It wasn't until months later that we saw each other again at Thing 2's new preschool and learned that all our children were now in school together. This year, we were the guardian of the zloty for the PTO store every Monday morning. I actually looked forward to Mondays not just for the fact that my children were alas off to school, but because I really enjoyed our conversations. We have so much in common and my only regret is that we didn't get to know each other sooner. I haven't said goodbye to her yet, but I know I will see you again someday. You can count on that!

Are you crying yet? It doesn't end there. This afternoon, after learning that I owe no more than a few bucks to the property people in the housing department, I paid a visit to my "atelier urody" or aesthetician. Ania has kept my hands, feet and face in top condition for almost 2 years. She gave me a lovely picture of Warsaw along with my last manicure and pedicure in Warsaw. I have enjoyed talking with her about our cultures, life's ups and downs, and everything else you can imagine. I can only hope to find someone as good as you back in the States.

Not in tears? Read on...this evening, I said goodbye to my Polish babcia and dziadek, my housekeeper, Grazyna and her husband, Josef, who have become as much a part of our family as they can be. That was especially hard because while she was my employee, she also became a surrogate grandmother to the kids and in a way they were both like surrogate parents to us. We were guests in their home and they in ours. It broke my heart tonight to see Thing 2 struggling to say good bye to her "nina". And it was sweet to watch Thing 1 speak the little Polish he knows to them as he said good bye. I will miss her (really both of them) terribly and not just for being a phenomenal housekeeper, but for making my Polish experience so much more personal. It is especially hard knowing that unless I am able to make it back to Poland someday, I may never see her again except for pictures and emails. So with my fairly decent Polish and my dictionary, I will write.

Everyone says that coming home is harder than leaving. I don't know the logistics of all that yet although I am sure there is no learning curve there. But, emotionally, coming home is harder. When you move overseas, you know you will come back home. But, when you have friends from all over, it is hard to know when and if you will ever see them again. At the same time, the world doesn't seem as large a place as it one was.

Warsaw is a place that you either love or hate. I find that it is the people you meet along the way that help you make that decision. So, for me, Warsaw and the people I met here will always hold a special place in my heart. I truly hope our paths cross again.

Do widzenia Warszawa! Dzien Dobry Ameryka!