We're back!

We finally made it into the United States Saturday, but not without drama.

The Cat had gotten us a great flight. It left at around 2pm. No early morning dashes to the airport for us unlike all our other expat friends leaving that morning. We leisurely got up around 7:30, at breakfast, ransacked the house to make sure we were not forgetting anything, threw away every leftover anything we had - just the regular morning routine when you are moving to another country.

We were picked up the Embassy van at 11am. When I say we, I mean my two children, myself, my dog, 6 suitcases packed to the max, a stroller and a car seat. There was barely any room in the van for anything else.

We get to airport around 11:30 with plenty of time to spare. I get in line at the Lufthansa ticket counter and when they see I have kids, they wave us over to check in at Business Class, which was empty. When the agent saw the two carts of stuff and the dog, she rolled her eyes in disdain and began complaining in German. She said I would be holding up the Business Class line. Now, the Cat had gotten us bumped up to Business Class for the long flight from Frankfurt, but not Warsaw to Frankfurt, which I mentioned to her. I also mentioned that there was no one in the Business Class line at this time. So, she did her job and checked us in. I was overweight for every bag, but they didn't charge me for anything accept the dog, which I expected. She told me that while she was able to check in the kids for the next leg of the flight, I had to go to the ticket counter to get my ticket in Frankfurt. Did I mention I only had a one hour layover in Frankfurt?

We got through security without much brouhaha, grabbed some water and went to sit at our gate and eat sandwiches I packed. While there, we ran into Thing 1 now former school principal who was on the way to Madrid with his wife. We always run into our fellow expats at the airport.

The flight to Frankfurt was effortless with the exception of Thing 1 insisting on taking things out of his backpack which I kindly (biting my lip and mentally counting to 10) told him that he could hold out for another two hours. I was not repacking that thing for him!

We deplaned at Frankfurt around 15:55. Our next flight left at 17:00. So I popped Thing 2 into the stroller, hung backpacks on it, gave Thing 1 the coats and told him to run. Luckily I know this airport and found the United Airlines counter without problem. I kindly (in hysterics) asked her for my boarding pass. Which she printed for someone else without so much as checking my passport? Thankfully I noticed and she then asked me for my passport. I got my pass, but it had me seated separately from the kids and I was told I still needed to go to the gate counter for my business class bump. All that and I still had to go through security.

I have always felt this double security check to be pointless. Those of us in the terminal have likely already gone through security somewhere else or we would not be in the terminal. The line was like a mile long. Frantic passengers kept trying to cut in saying their flight to Dulles was leaving and they had to cut in. I told one guy to take a number because I was on the same flight.

We finally get to security. The kids know the routine and took off their shoes. Still they set off the alarm and they along with me were patted down by the German officers. One of the things that I can't stand about Germany is that their collective consciousness makes them a bunch of rule following goody two shoes. Everything has to be by the book which is very annoying under extreme circumstances like being late for a flight.

So, it was no surpise when one of the officers tells me to open my backpack. This thing had to weigh 25 pounds and it was packed with way too much stuff. This woman rummaged through it trying to get to the bottom where she pulls out my jewelry pouch and manages to throw almost all my jewelry on the counter. I was livid and bitched her out asking her if they considered jewelry a weapon in their country. She seemed to be taken aback by all the jewelry and I told her I was moving back to the States and was not about to pack valuables for shipping. She did her best to pick it up, but in the end the pouch I had with Thing 2's jewelry which had all the sentimental value (there were some things in there that my dad had given me that I wanted to pass on to her as well as her baby ID bracelet and her birthstone rosary) went missing. Ironically, I posted something earlier this month about not being attached to many things unless they were of sentimental value and in a sense the loss became a self fulfilling prophecy. I am quite upset about this and will be placing a call to United Airlines to find this pouch at gate C2 in Frankfurt. I would sue if it were possible! If you think I have a case, please let me know.

After that fiasco, I ran to the counter and got my BC bump which more than made up for security. However, again they set us up in three separate rows. So, I went into BC and I made an announcement explaining the seating arrangement I had been given and asking for volunteers unless they wanted two hyperactive and one sick kid sitting next to them on the flight (I actually did say this!). Immediately two passengers gave up their seats. I got everyone settled with some snacks and we set off on a rather uneventful flight back to America.

When we finally got there, I had to get through passport control. I felt herded like cattle until I saw the glorious sign saying "Diplomats only." Kaching! I skipped about 100 people and went right to the counter. I think I'll hold on to that passport! After finding someone to help me gather my multitude of belongings and lying to the custom official that I was not bring any food of any kind into the country (my bag was stuffed with Kinder Egg Chocolates). I was finally on my way to a reunion with my husband.

Despite the jet lag, I had to unpack and then repack for the drive to FL the following day. So, while the kids spent time with dad, I managed to do it all and went to bed at 1am, over 24 hours after waking.

My kids were up and ready to go at 4am. Such is life. So I now sit here writing this opus at 5am as I wait for my tired husband to wake so we can get on the road. And somewhere in this great country of ours, my friends who traveled out Saturday are probably all up right along with me and their kids as our bodies try to figure out that we are not in Poland anymore.