We adults get so caught up in all the hoopla of moving home that it is easy to forget that your little people are also adjusting. I noticed several things this week with my children that I just never gave any thought.
Here are just a few of those observations:
I have never seen someone as delighted by a walk in closet than Thing 2. Then, it dawned on me, that my now cognizant daughter, has never really had a closet. She has lived out of a wardrobe her whole life. She is thrilled by her new found "house" as she calls it.
The obsession with sunlight is also quite interesting. After being in the land of 3pm sunsets, both kids are constantly talking about the sun. It is finally shining on them and they couldn't be more pleased. I feel the same way.
I have always taken off my shoes at the door simply because my OCD mom instilled this in to me. After having kids, i became ever more obsessed with not tracking in dirt. In other parts of the world (not just Japan), it is customary to remove your shoes when entering a home. So was the case in Poland where you even keep slippers for your guests in your home. This is not the case in most of America and now I have to constantly remind my children to keep their shoes on especially in school where children don't change into indoor shoes.
Most little people don't have a clue about what you are talking about when you tell them you lived overseas. At this age, most haven't been out of the country. So, they really have no interest in hearing about all the great places you traveled to because they have no idea what or where that is. Knowing this, I had a talk with Thing 1 telling him not to talk too much about his experience abroad unless kids actually express interest (which I highly doubt).
What caught me by surprise the most was the pledge of allegiance! I think the last time I recited the pledge of allegiance was in high school. Like most Americans, I also stand for the national anthem which I have more recently done at sporting events. But, I never gave a thought to the fact that my 6 year old has never been to school in America and did not know the pledge of allegiance. You don't pledge allegiance to the United States when you are in an overseas school. He didn't know what it was. So when we were in his new school earlier in the week and all the kids stood for the pledge, Thing 1 just sat at his desk. We were there for his first day and had to teach him what to do (stand, right hand over heart, recite). So, heads up, expats - teach your kids the pledge or at least tell them about this school custom if you are coming back to the US.
I will add to this list as I notice more in the coming weeks. I am sure it will a take a few months to adjust.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Moving back to your country - or trying not to lose your mind over 60 days!
After 2 1/2 years in Warsaw, Poland, our family moved back to VA over the holidays. After a two glorious weeks in warm, sunny, Florida, we made our way back to chilly Virginia where an ice storm was expected in the coming days.
This moving back thing is actually harder than moving away. I had read this previously, but didn't quite understand why moving back to your own country would be so difficult. Visiting seemed so easy. I felt so at home. It also took place in Florida where I am a native and know most of the state like the back of my hand.
Now, we are back in Virginia where I am not a native and have not lived here for 6 years. It feels every bit as foreign as Warsaw did initially. This area has changed alot in 6 years. I am completely disoriented and my GPS, which I relied on in Warsaw, is not as up to date on the new roads in Virginia. I feel nauseated everytime I get into the car mostly because after that trip to and from FL I have no desire to be in a car.
Going to the store is as overwhelming as it was shopping in Warsaw for the first time. This time, the problem is choices (with price coming in a close second!). There are so many (in English) that I find myself overwhelmed. I long for forced choice! Everything looks different and I keep trying to turn on lights outside the doors instead of inside. I pull doors instead of pushing them. There is certainly some readjustment to be done. We stopped at Disney World for one day on our way back up here and I felt more at home there with all the foreigners speaking all their different languages than I do now.
Moving back home you receive no support other than from those arranging the delivery of your household effects and that takes forever. There is no housekeeper to clean my house or do my laundry or watch my 2 year old. A second job is required for those luxuries including preschool for that 2 year old which I am fervently working on as I write. You don't get a welcome home packet with crucial information like schools, doctors, vets, etc. Nor do you get your home and utilities provided and paid for by a third party. You are truly on your own now. Good luck and welcome home!
There are certainly lots of pluses to being back. The best by far is hearing English or Spanish spoken everywhere. Being able to access all those services I mentioned above without having to learn a new language or bringing an interpreter is a relief. Living abroad gives you a certainly love and appreciation for your home country that you would not otherwise have or understand.
America is far from perfect and I am sure I could make a list of everything that is done better in Europe (focus on family, first and foremost). But I am so grateful to live in a country that has wide open roads, where I don't have to do mathematical equations to convert everything to the Metric system (although i think the entire world should have a uniform system), where the bureaucracy is not as overwhelming and where you can take care of much of that bureaucratic stuff on-line, where people stop at intersections (stop sign or not!), where you don't have to pay for your plastic bags or bag your own groceries or even leave a coin deposit for your shopping cart, where I don't have to weigh produce, where parking spaces are clearly marked and sidewalks are meant for walking (even if I feel urges to jump on that sidewalk from time to time), where people know what a parade is and where to stand for one, and even, as overwhelming as it all is right now, where there is variety in just about everything.
Yes, I think it is safe to say, I love being home!
This moving back thing is actually harder than moving away. I had read this previously, but didn't quite understand why moving back to your own country would be so difficult. Visiting seemed so easy. I felt so at home. It also took place in Florida where I am a native and know most of the state like the back of my hand.
Now, we are back in Virginia where I am not a native and have not lived here for 6 years. It feels every bit as foreign as Warsaw did initially. This area has changed alot in 6 years. I am completely disoriented and my GPS, which I relied on in Warsaw, is not as up to date on the new roads in Virginia. I feel nauseated everytime I get into the car mostly because after that trip to and from FL I have no desire to be in a car.
Going to the store is as overwhelming as it was shopping in Warsaw for the first time. This time, the problem is choices (with price coming in a close second!). There are so many (in English) that I find myself overwhelmed. I long for forced choice! Everything looks different and I keep trying to turn on lights outside the doors instead of inside. I pull doors instead of pushing them. There is certainly some readjustment to be done. We stopped at Disney World for one day on our way back up here and I felt more at home there with all the foreigners speaking all their different languages than I do now.
Moving back home you receive no support other than from those arranging the delivery of your household effects and that takes forever. There is no housekeeper to clean my house or do my laundry or watch my 2 year old. A second job is required for those luxuries including preschool for that 2 year old which I am fervently working on as I write. You don't get a welcome home packet with crucial information like schools, doctors, vets, etc. Nor do you get your home and utilities provided and paid for by a third party. You are truly on your own now. Good luck and welcome home!
There are certainly lots of pluses to being back. The best by far is hearing English or Spanish spoken everywhere. Being able to access all those services I mentioned above without having to learn a new language or bringing an interpreter is a relief. Living abroad gives you a certainly love and appreciation for your home country that you would not otherwise have or understand.
America is far from perfect and I am sure I could make a list of everything that is done better in Europe (focus on family, first and foremost). But I am so grateful to live in a country that has wide open roads, where I don't have to do mathematical equations to convert everything to the Metric system (although i think the entire world should have a uniform system), where the bureaucracy is not as overwhelming and where you can take care of much of that bureaucratic stuff on-line, where people stop at intersections (stop sign or not!), where you don't have to pay for your plastic bags or bag your own groceries or even leave a coin deposit for your shopping cart, where I don't have to weigh produce, where parking spaces are clearly marked and sidewalks are meant for walking (even if I feel urges to jump on that sidewalk from time to time), where people know what a parade is and where to stand for one, and even, as overwhelming as it all is right now, where there is variety in just about everything.
Yes, I think it is safe to say, I love being home!
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