If you give an expat free coffee....

...they will come to your event. Mom's may find this title familiar if you have read "If You Give A Mouse a Cookie...?" by Laura Numeroff. My fellow expats (both American and international) have kept the java (or shall I say kawa) drip flowing since we arrived and most likely way before. What is it about caffeine and the expat?

Before moving here, I would have my usual Cuban expresso (still do) and that was usually sufficient. The only time I would stop at Starbucks was after a sleepless night with the kids. Now, it really doesn't matter whether I sleep or not - I am not working (although it does feel that I have 2 full time jobs with no paid leave in sight) so if I am really that tired, I can snuggle up with Thing 2 for an afternoon nap.

But, here, in the expat universe, everyday is a coffee morning both informally and formally. In the past 30 days alone, there has been one for the American Friend's of Warsaw, the International Women's Group, the PTO Board Meeting, the UN Day Planning Meeting, the ES Counselor meeting, the Parent Advisory Committee Meeting, the Mums and Tots Committee Meeting and that's not even touching upon all the java flowing through the Mums and Tots playgroups. Seriously - if you are low on coffee at home, look up a website and I am sure someone is giving up free coffee around here on any given morning.

I think my nervous system has become so accustomed to this intake that it takes even more to keep me going. Earlier this week, I had a double (Cuban) expresso since the Cat wasn't home to consume the other half. Still that did not stop me from wishing I had a calculator to sell movie tickets to a student at the PTO store ( I worked it out in my head eventually). A double just won't do anymore. So I had another coffee courtesy of another PTO mom.

Today it was coffee with the 1st grade room moms and if I didn't want to go to that one, there is always the one for the American Friends of Warsaw. Thursday there is nothing scheduled but then there's the parent-teacher conference at 8:30am - gotta be bright eyed and bushy tailed for that one. And now Friday, my one day of morning rest this week, Fran Drescher (aka The Nanny) will be in town for a breast cancer awareness event. I bet you there will be coffee! It's like heroin - if you need your coffee fix - you will find it free of charge somewhere in Warsaw.

Of course, this isn't why we attend these events. We enjoy socializing. Problem is that this coffee social thing is giving me some side effects. Today, I actually noticed my eye was twitching and I couldn't stop it. So, I was either really strung out on caffeine or I have Parkinson symptoms.

Wouldn't it be great if we took this concept and changed it to cocktail evenings? Not the fancy kind, but just a group of moms (preferably without tots) getting together for wine or tequila shots. Kids love relaxed parents not anxious caffeine induced ones. Angry drunk people need not stop by.

I am now so irritable and in withdrawal that I had my children choose who they wanted for the evening: Happy mommy or angry irritable mommy. Unanimously, they chose happy mommy. Good choice! Amazing how giving them choices works! They are on their best behavior which is a good thing because right now I don't think my brain even cares about who hit or scratched who.