The Gift of Giving

Lately, a shift in focus has prompted lots of conversation between us about what is really important around this time of year. Yesterday, we delivered gifts to the family we were sponsoring. While we struggled with language, navigating to a rural area of Poland about 1.5 hours away from home with no clearly marked roads, and time constraints, it was well worth it.

After not being able to get a volunteer from the Warsaw Mission to accompany us, which was a bit frustrating, we decided to do it ourselves because we did not want to disappoint the family. I found a website that translated English to Polish fairly well and was able to write down some key phrases to use.

Our journey took place on a one lane road leading from Warsaw to a northern rural area of Poland, Wyzogrod-Rebowo about 75 miles/ 1.5 hours away from home. We had an address and the directions were basically to take the road out of Warsaw towards Wyzogrod. Make a left towards Rebowo and after we pass a graveyard/cemetery, make a left and follow the road for a few minutes until we reach the house. This area was nothing but farmland. We tried to get more specific directions through ViaMichelin(Europe’s version of Mapquest), but they don’t provide specific directions of rural areas. So, when we got to the general area, we were lost. I called the Warsaw Mission and they really could not provide more specifics. The Cat in the Hat was literally turning down every farm road in the area trying to find the house. I told him to stop so that I could ask for directions (you know how men have trouble with this!). One person communicated through gestures how to get to the road about 5 km away. We followed directions and went down the road (a dirt road, might I add), but could not find any markers to indicate the correct address.

We went back to the main road and the Cat turned off into another direction. I saw these three men (our Three Wise Men, if you will) working in a farm and we pulled over to ask them. They tried to explain and even drew a map, but they insisted on letting them take us there. They saw the name of the family and they knew of them. They drove us up to the house. As we were driving, we got some money together to give them something for their trouble, with our American mentality that you don’t do something for nothing. But, when we offered them money they refused to take it. They didn’t even want to shake the Cat’s hand because their hands were dirty from manual labor they were engaged in. the Cat insisted on shaking their hands and they went back to work. We tend to have a mentality that unless you volunteer, people do not do anything without expecting something in return, yet those men took time off their work to go out of their way to help us and expected nothing.

At the address we were given, an elderly man came to the gate. I tried to tell him that we were here to see the family, but he did not understand. I called the Mission and had them translate. He was the grandfather for the two boys. The family actually lived on another farm house down the dirt road we had initially gone to. The boys’ aunt got in the car with us and guided us there. Once we got there, we met the boys’mom. The father was working (he’s a gas station attendant). The older boy was not home, the youngest was asleep. The house reminded me of some of the homes I had visited when I worked in Baltimore and Washington. They had the bare minimum. The house was run down and you could smell mold. Thing 1 commented “Daddy, they really don’t have very much.” I’m glad the family did not speak English at that point.

We gave her the toys for the kids, some clothing for the older boy, diapers for the younger one, candy, cookies and other Christmas treats and about $100 USD for them to purchase food and other necessities for their family. We also donated some clothes Thing 1 outgrew in the past month to the younger boy. She showed us pictures of the kids and of her 4 year old daughter who died this past year. She cried and I got emotional as well. I felt like I could relate to her because while we have different circumstances she, like any parent in this world, wants to be able to give their children everything they can. How do you do that when you have nothing to give? Her tears were a mixture of joy, relief and sadness. Joy and relief in knowing that her children would have a Christmas, sadness in knowing that she and her husband could not provide this for them and that their daughter was unable to share in it.

Both boys have pulmonary problems (no surprise, if you saw the environment). I’m unsure whether it was asthma or allergies, but I asked what medications they were taking when I initially learned of this. Both of the boys took Pulmicort, which Thing 1 was also taking until this past summer. I have tons of boxes of unused medications because he switched to an inhaler. So, I verified that this was indeed the medication they took and donated some of it to them now and will be giving them the rest when our household effects arrive next month.

As an FYI, the Polish healthcare system is state-financed through the National Health Fund (NFZ), to which everyone working in Poland is required to contribute. Employee contributions are deducted direct from salaries by employers, while the self-employed are required to make their own contributions direct to the NFZ. People who are covered by the national health insurance system, and their dependents, are entitled to free primary health care, specialist out-patient care, hospital treatment, dental treatment and ambulance transport. I’m unsure how this would apply to children, but from the mother’s reaction when she saw the medicine, it seems that this specific medication may be costly to them. So, hopefully, our supply will see them through for at least 6 months.

Come Christmas morning, my house will double as Toys R Us. We have a large extended family and some people (you know who you are) don’t just send one gift (I’ve been guilty of this as well). While I appreciate the thought and the gifts we receive from our family and friends, I feel that something is terribly wrong when my son continues to ask for stuff, stuff that he doesn’t even take good care of because he thinks that the toy river will continue to flow if something breaks or gets lost. When I see that his self image is mixed in with what he has, it bothers me greatly. It worries me that he will be unhappy in life if he tries to find happiness in things.

We struggle between the desire of every parent to give them everything they desire and the obligation to teach them that while we can give them what they need, they can’t have everything they want. We try to teach them this in the midst of a culture that tells you that you “need” all this stuff. We are not rich, but even being in a comfortable financial situation can be a curse simply because you have the means. I hate to say no to him especially when I can easily grant his wish, but I find myself doing it more and more. If we didn’t have the money, the answer would be easy. Sometimes it’s easier to go without than to have too much of anything.

So, on that note, I encourage you to look into volunteer opportunities like this if you don’t already volunteer. Better yet, involve your children and make it a family activity. There are even family volunteer vacations. Recently, I heard of a family who traveled to Romania to hold babies in an orphanage over the last Christmas holiday. Its little things like this that mean so much to babies that are not held as often as they should or at all.

You also do not have to wait until Christmas either. People have needs that need to be met all year round. If your kids have an allowance, teach them to save some of it for charity. Within the culture in which our children are growing up, I believe it is our duty as parents to balance what the media feeds them with reality.  As you help another human being, you begin to realize that you could easily be that mother, father or child in those circumstances. In the end, the people you help impact your life as much if not more in a way that changes your life and world view.
Enjoy your holidays and count your blessings.

Christmas in Warsaw

“Thing 2! Those are not your toys, they are my toys.” “I’m not in a good mood, Thing 2 so stay away from my toys.” That’s what I heard this afternoon as Thing 1 (and now Thing 2) were “playing.” And so it begins. Our first Christmas with two children and the beginning of endless bickering to come. As I told Thing 1, the days of Thing 2 staying put are now over. Anything he feels is off limits he will have to take to his room.

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah! Happy Kwanzaa! The holiday season has certainly been different for us here. After an early November snow, we have seen no snow since and like many of you we will be having a rainy Christmas. At 2pm today, Warsaw will shut down. Stores, banks, government, restaurants, theaters, etc. will remain closed until 12/27 since 12/26 (Boxing Day/Feast of St. Stephen) is celebrated here as well.

Throughout this month, I was struck by the difference in focus of the holidays here compared to the US. America has commercialized Christmas so profoundly that any meaning the holiday has is missing for many. I was surprised that I did not see many homes decorated with lights. However, every church I have passed this week (and there are lots of them) had people working on light displays. Some churches display live nativity scenes (animals included), and inside everything is decorated beautifully. The iconic commercial figure of the season, Santa, is nowhere to be found here unless you count St. Nicholas Day where children receive a gift in their stocking from their patron saint. There are no Santas in ANY mall. The only Santa the kids were able to meet this year were a Marine dressed up as Santa at the U.S. Marine House and another American in costume at Thing 1's preschool Christmas Party. Christmas here is a religious celebration centered on family which is what it should be when you think about it. The gift giving is an accessory to the holiday, not the main event. Food seems to be more important than gifts because more than the gift buying I have seen crazed people at the markets. Stores at the mall are not what is crowded, but more the stalls that sell sweets (addicting sugary confections that I made the mistake of tasting once – I haven’t been back to buy anymore since because they were too good).

This idea of shutting down for 3-4 days for the holiday is not exclusive to Poland. When we were in Germany for Christmas a few years ago, everything shut down there as well. When you think about it, by doing this everyone basically stays home spending time with family or visiting relatives. The holidays here truly strive to celebrate family unlike many of us American who strive to survive their families and get “through” Christmas. It’s not about the gifts here, but more about the birth of Christ and sharing meals, quality time with loved ones.

Celebration here begins on Christmas Eve with a traditional Polish Christmas meal, Wigilia. Here is an excerpt from the Mums and Tots newsletter describing this event:

“The tradition is to set an extra setting for the “stranger who may come calling.” Families sit down for dinner when they see “the first star in the sky” usually around 4pm. Before the feast, the family shares a Christmas wafer (that tastes like a Communion wafer) and wish each and every family member well in the New Year…..The meal consists of 12 dishes symbolizing the 12 apostles. Everything served is meatless although fish is allowed and traditionally it is a carp (a freshwater fish that is found in abundance in large tanks at every supermarket this time of year). Following the meal, Christmas carols are sung and gifts are exchanged. The evening is topped off by a walk to a nearby church for midnight mass (Paterska). On Christmas Day every church debuts an altar with the Nativity. Some are small and symbolic while others are elaborate with live animals in a stable outside.”

While Poland is a democracy that is actually modeled after the United States, the separation of church and state is hard to find here. There are other religions here, Judaism and Islam, like everywhere else. However, you wouldn’t know it if you did not look more closely.

Where in the United States, Christmas trees get taken down at airports because of a complaint by a Rabbi, here Catholicism is the religion of the land and nothing is taken down. No problems saying Merry Christmas here! People would probably look at you funny if you said Happy Holidays.

Ironically, just like in the US, you will see memorials to victims of car accidents on the side of the roads. And here, people light candles at these sites. Any cemetery you pass you will notice the many people that come here regularly to light candles at graves and place flowers at the sites. Same for memorials/statues for important Polish people. People come on a regular basis bearing flowers and candles. Along many roads you will see shrines/statues of the Virgin Mary, Saints, and Jesus. No matter what they say, you can tell that politics here are driven by religion.

Super Nanny - NOT!

I interviewed a nanny this month. Let’s just say that the minute she entered our home, the smell of smoke permeated the air. Not exactly Mary Poppins! Call me picky, but I don’t like the idea of exposing the kids to second hand smoke if I don’t have too. We hired a housekeeper instead. She starts next week. As for the nanny, I think I’ll suck it up until next fall and then place Thing 2 in a preschool program 2-3 half days per week and we will be using the daughter of one of The Cat's co-workers (a mature 17 year old) to babysit if needed.

Interesting and amusing observations....

We have noticed more subtle differences during everyday life here. For one, cashiers at grocery stores are given seats instead of standing all day. I must say that we have noted that there is a mentality that they cannot do anything outside their job description. Even at US stores if you have to bag your groceries because they are shorthanded the cashier will usually help you along when she is done ringing up the sale. Here your child can be screaming in the cart and there is no one behind you, but they just sit there filing their nails.

We went to a Pizza Hut in a mall the other day and did not find one checkered table cloth. Instead it was more of an upscale eatery or bistro. Very modern looking, dimly lit, tables/booths in a chocolate brown color. The menu offered not only pizza, but also things like stuffed mushrooms and different pastas (not just spaghetti). It was a bit of a surprise albeit a pleasant one.

We were watching Polish TV the other day and saw...get this...“Poop and Scoop Barbie” (this may not be the actual name, but it’s the one I came up with). She comes with a small dog that poops and a pooper scooper. Have we really run out of ideas for Barbie? What’s next “Kitty Litter Barbie?”

I finallyfound a way to learn a bit of Polish with the kids. I am learning the Polish alphabet and numbers by watching Sesame Street in Polish. It may sound silly, but with the letter of the day and number of the day, I’ll have the alphabet and numbers down in about a month. Sesame Street also pronounces the words which is very helpful. I never imagined when I was a child that I would be learning a new language with Sesame Street 25 years later.

The English weekly papers I receive are full of funny stories that are actually news. Some communist minded thinking still exists here as you can see from the following: Some homeless guy was arrested for insulting the Polish president and breaking wind at the mention of the president’s name. He told the paper that he “was drinking with the Russian guy, Oleg,” (as if we all know who Oleg is!) and did not remember much. He was acquitted. The court ruled that “an intoxicated person cannot in effect insult the president of the Republic of Poland.” Glad they took their time in thinking that through! It’s the way that they describe these incidents that makes it funny. The other funny one was one about Poles filling up their cars with vegetable oil. One guy said that he would “start my car with normal petrol, but when the engine warms up, I change over to food oil. I can travel up to 30,000 km and everything is fine.”

Very amusing!

Darkness falls across the land...

The weather and darkness is getting to us now. This is different from the depression I have felt in the past. It’s more physical than it is psychological or emotional. No matter how much sleep we get, we tend to get tired and sleepy in the mid afternoon when the sun sets at 3:30 PM.

The other problem is the weather. I’m used to sunny days. Last week a dense fog has set in and it did not go away until Friday. The weekend was clear and sunny – for the first time in weeks. I knew about the lack of sunlight in the winter and I thought that getting out during the day would help, but the weather is so grey. Thing 1 saw the sun through the fog the other day and told me that it was trying to say hello. It needs to speak up! Last week, I could actually look directly at the sun without getting blinded by the light because of the fog.

Temperatures have been above normal in the 40’s/50’s during the day and 30’s in the evening. No snow in our forecast at this time

Back in the driver's seat

Since I started driving around I have noted additional quirks about driving here. For the most part most things are the same. Cars, contrary to what people think, are not all small. Many people have SUV’s and vans. There is also the “Smart Car.” I saw this in Virginia over the summer so I think it has made it’s way to the US . Here is the their website: http://www.smartcarofamerica.com/.

Parking spaces are smaller here and I tend to park out further so that I have space to park. Roads are not very small, but since cars park on the side of the road, it makes it narrow. I haven’t had any problems navigating though.

Traffic signals here look the same as they do in the US, but they do have one thing that differs. Right before a red light turns green, drivers get a flashing yellow light to alert them that the signal is about to change. I think the reasoning behind this has to do with the fact that the majority of European cars have manual transmission. The yellow light allows drivers to shift gears a few seconds before the green light. This is brilliant and would be great in the US especially in Florida where some people seem to have a 3 second delay between the light turning green and their actual movement forward.

Stop signs are also the same as in the US except you don’t necessarily find them at every intersection. I just stop out of habit whenever I note an intersection with no lights or signs. But otherwise, if no one is coming you don’t really have to stop. Speed limits are also not consistent. Some roads have speed limits in km, but some of the main roads seem like the German autobahn. People go really fast and you really have to check all mirrors before changing lanes.

Making left turns is also interesting. People pull out into the intersection in a line (similar to the US) to wait for an opportunity to turn. However, people that are way in the back of that line have no problems creating an alternate line on either side of you. So, waiting to turn you may have about 5-6 cars in the queuing area and then when the light turns red all 6 proceed to merge on to a sometimes one lane road.

Gas prices are much higher than in the US. You pay by the liter, not gallon, and each liter is about 3.79 zloty which is about 1.30 USD PER LITER!!! That’s about 5.20 USD PER GALLON! For my Honda CRV, it costs me about $80 USD (that includes VAT which I will get back) to fill up. Before we moved, I believe I paid about $37-40 USD to fill up. The nice thing is that since The Cat in the Hat takes the bus to work and I travel only locally, it lasts for 2 weeks. Plus, we only have 1 car now so it is cheaper anyway.

Servicing my car is easier than I thought. The American Community Association (ACA) has a mechanic that will drive my car to the Honda dealership, request the service, wait for the car and return it to the Embassy when completed. I don’t have to wait anymore. I have an appointment this week to get my all weather tires and winter service.

No matter the expense, I love being able to drive. Even if I don’t go anywhere, I like to know that I can and that I don’t have to call someone to pick me up. Plus, it’s the only way to really orient myself to the city. I need my brain to make these new connections.

Discovering Warsaw...

My mom visited last week so we took in a lot of Warsaw in a week. Old Town Warsaw is beautiful. When you enter the market square there are informative boards showing the same place in 1945 when it was completely demolished by the Nazis. Here is a website where you can see some post-war pics and modern day ones: http://www.scrapbookpages.com/Poland/Warsaw/Warsaw02.html .

I guess that what is striking here is the fact that most of Warsaw (about 85%) had to be reconstructed after the war yet part of the fortress wall that protected the area hundreds of years ago has survived virtually intact. Most of the “Old Town” is really rather new. The buildings were reconstructed to look like the pre-war sites through pictures. The streets leading to the market square are filled with shops and restaurants and on the market square itself there are artists selling their paintings and musicians performing. It was interesting to walk through there and hear musicians singing Pearl Jam, Guns and Roses and other American music. Radio stations play American music between their Polish commentaries. Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m in Warsaw because of the many American influences here.

Shops sell lots of Polish crafts and pottery. The Boleslawiec pottery (http://www.boleslawiecpottery.com/) is what people refer to as “polish pottery” and it’s everywhere. Amber jewelry (http://www.amberworkshop.com/) and crafts are available as well beer steins (like in Germany), Russian nesting dolls (http://www.kremlingifts.com/nesting/index.html) and lacquer eggs and jewelry boxes. My favorite creation was a vase with roses created out of amber. It was beautiful.

We also went to the Palace of Culture and Science. We went to see the science exhibit and evolution exhibit both of which were small in comparison to the museums we have in the US. They also had a Barbie and Lego exhibit that ran until last Sunday. They had every Barbie imaginable and many Lego creations. Thing 1 enjoyed the Lego exhibit of course, but even Thing 2 enjoyed the Barbie exhibit. She kept trying to grab the dolls in the glass cases.

They had Barbie’s from around the world representing different countries as well as different eras. In the World Barbie display it was interesting that all the dolls were standing except the Russian one. The Poles don’t hide the fact that they do not like Russia (Germany is a close second) and this was a subtle snub to their neighboring country.

Our First Polish Snow

We had our first snow on November 2nd. Since then, it has snowed everyday since. It is light snow and thankfully, as the temperature climbs, it melts. We got about 2 inches overnight on Sunday, but it melted before we had to shovel any of it. I’ll enjoy that while it lasts. November 1st was All Saints Day/Day of the Dead and is a big holiday here. People go to cemetery’s and place candles at the graves of loved ones. No grave is untouched as it is customary to place candles on graves that do not have one.

Crime in Warsaw

Preventing terrorist attacks is a big deal here and I find myself even more hypervigilant now that we are here than I ever was at home. They recently caught a group of Iraqi and Bahraini men trying to cross the German/Polish border illegally. And Germany is a cesspool of terrorist activity. To give you an idea, any time we drive into the Embassy, their staff search for explosives. It doesn’t matter if you go there everyday and are friendly with the people there. They search it anyway. While it’s a pain, it is comforting that they are doing what they can to prevent a bombing.

Crime is also prevalent here or so I am told. My perception is that the more comfortable you are with your surroundings the less you will perceive the crime around you. I lived in the United States most of my life and while I was careful I wasn’t as aware of potential for crime as I am here. What I am told is that thieves here work in groups. Some provide distractions while others rob you. Violent crime happens, but not as much. Most people try to avoid confrontation with their victims. Pickpocketing is popular. I do limit my outings with the kids because of this. With a stroller, two kids, and a diaper bag/purse, I am a vulnerable target. I keep to my neighborhood and venture out further in a taxi or with other people. Some thieves will smash your window while you are parked at a light and grab your purse if you keep it in the passenger seat. This happened to someone recently. The thief took a diaper bag and when he realized this, he gave it back to the woman and ran. I feel pretty safe at home because it is a fortress. To enter our courtyard/porch you have to ring a buzzer before we let you in.

Overall, I am more careful only because if something were to happen here, it would be more difficult to find help.

On the road again….can’t wait to get back on the road again…

Have I mentioned how much I miss my car? Forget “happy lights” – sitting in my car (heck just seeing my car) would help any blues I may have. It is supposed to get here this month. I feel like I kid waiting for Christmas. I could not believe how dependent I had become on my car.

Taxi fare is expensive here and the bus is not very “stroller” friendly. Round trip to Thing 1's school is $20 USD. Any other side trips add up quickly. I don’t like the taxi either because both kids are riding without their car seats and that worries me. It was hard at first when it wasn’t so cold because Thing 2 would move around a lot and it was hard to contain her within my seatbelt. Now, I have her immobilized by her winter coat so she has to stay put.

Parking here is interesting. Drivers create parking spaces on sidewalks. They don’t block the whole sidewalk, but drive one side of the car up on the sidewalk. I’ve seen this everywhere. This makes the roads much wider than the usual European roads.

It’s the end of Daylight Savings Time as we know it

Well, I knew this was coming and now it has arrived. With the end of daylight savings time, we have been thrust further into the darkness. Sunrise is now at about 6:30 and the sunsets (total darkness) by 4pm. That’s about 9 hours 15 minutes of daylight. I wish I could say this is the worst of it, but this is set to continue until the winter solstice when our daylight will “peak” at 7 hours 38 minutes and 17 seconds. How do I know this? Check out http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/astronomy.html?n=262 a site for the world clock.

With the darkness comes, SADness ( or Seasonal Affective Disorder/winter blues for you non psychology folk). This is a very big deal here. So much so that the Embassy Medical Office has what I will call “happy lights” and invite people to stop by and “worship” the light for about 15 minutes per day during the winter. Sounds a bit cult-like - I think I’ll buy my own if necessary. I had this problem when I first moved up north and have not experienced anything like it. As of right now, I can’t say it is affecting me too much. I just wonder if the kids keep me busy so that I have no time to be depressed.

One month and going strong...

Things are getting better. They began to improve as soon as we received our air freight and the kids got most of their things in that delivery. Then, it got even better when we got our DSL connection and with it Vonage. It is great to be able to talk to people in English as if I were still at home.

The language is becoming easier to read at least. I can’t pronounce words very well. Like in German, all the “w” sound like “v’s” which doesn’t help since those are favorite letters in Polish words. We live near an area called Wilanow which is pronounced “Vilanov.” Very confusing. I’m happy to report that Thing 1 has actually picked up quite a few Polish words from his Polish culture class. He took me by surprise when he said good morning to his teachers in Polish. It was very cute. I met a Polish nanny at the park last week who taught me a few words while Thing 2 played with the little girl she was caring for.

I must say that, so far, every meal has been a pleasant surprise. The only one that left something to be desired was Chinese take out. You can find every type of cuisine here. The only thing I haven’t had here is American food (but they have that here too in the form of McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, etc). The pierogies are delicious and they make them with every kind of filling imaginable (including chocolate!). We’ve also had some French and Italian food that exceeded our expectations. Portions are just right. Water here is sold in two varieties (until I came here I was unaware of this). With gas (gasowana) and without gas (nie gasowana). What I mean by gas is carbonation (with bubbles if you will). People drink this like we drink bottled water in the US. You have to specify what you want when you order to avoid a shock to your taste buds.

There is also a great service here called “Room Service.” This is take out like I have never seen. This business has a website which is also in English where you can order food from a number of different restaurants. This isn’t just neighborhood fare. They have every time of cuisine imaginable. We decided to try it when we got here and were very pleased. We order in at least once per week. They even have these portable machines (tiny) to process your debit cards. Prices are comparable to the US and sometimes cheaper depending on the cuisine.

I am happy to report that my grocery bill has indeed been cut in half just by moving here. I bought 5 containers of formula the other day (about 61 oz) comparable to 2 large cans and 1 small can in the US. I paid about $15 USD for all five. The same amount would have run me about $62 USD in the states. A big pack of Pampers is about $8 USD. Deli meat, cheese, bread, and produce are much cheaper. You can get a pound of turkey for about $1 USD. Same for most things listed above. Packaged goods are sold in smaller quantities, but interestingly, I don’t find myself buying more to make up for it. Speaking of packaged good….Packaging here leaves much to be desired. For example, in the US ie cream is sold in a carton. Here, it is sold in plastic carton. The Cat in the Hat accidentally dropped a bag two weeks ago and his ice cream carton cracked and spilled everywhere. They don’t sell good quality freezer bags or sandwich bags like Zip Loc. I was informed of this prior to leaving and did not question it. I bought plastic bags, trash bags, etc in bulk. I’m glad I did. I don’t think I’ll have to buy any for the rest of our time here.

Shopping malls around here are rather new when you consider that communism only ended here about 17 years ago. However, they are everywhere and they are just something else. And they are not small. Most malls and grocery stores are gigantic. Some have escalators without steps so you can take your strollers onboard. Most malls also have a grocery store. I found one the other day that was advertised as having 100 registers. Many of the grocery stores are open 24 hours. Here is a website of one of the British chains here, Tesco. For the polish version of any website, add “pl” instead of “com”.

The mall nearest to us is the Sadyba Best Mall. It is about a 15 minute walk away from home. This one is a bit smaller compared to my favorite one thus far, Galeria Mokotow. Every mall that I have seen or been in has an IMAX theater. Movies are shown in English with Polish subtitles except for the children’s movies which are dubbed in Polish. The American School provides screening of children’s movies in English before the dubbed version opens in theaters. Movies show up here about 3-4 months after they are released in the US unless it is a blockbuster and then it tends to open the same weekend. Considering that I am still able to receive Netflix’s while I’m here, I doubt I will be seeing any movies here since they are probably out on DVD before they get here.

So far so good here in Warsaw. The time is going to be changing soon. We will see how we adjust to the long nights.

Adjusting to life in a new country

On a more philosophical note, I have been doing lots of thinking in the past two weeks about how difficult it is for an immigrant to adapt to a new country and a new way of life. Everyone says it’s difficult and you can imagine how difficult it could be, but even with my own Hispanic heritage, the reality doesn’t even come close.

When I worked with Hispanic clients in DC and FL I thought I understood or empathized with what they were going through. While I may have been empathic to what they were going through, I really had no clue how hard it was or is for them. In social work, we tend to be concerned about our clients who isolate themselves and have no social support. But when you struggle with language barriers and cultural differences, I can understand how you could isolate yourself and be perfectly happy and comfortable with that choice. I have traveled to many countries and traveling does expose you to these differences, but on a very small time limited scale. Once your vacation is over you get to go back to the US and to everything you know.

For some of these people, this is not an option because as difficult as it is in the US, conditions are far worse in their country of origin. It is very eye opening. Another thought is that many of the immigrants that come to the US have little or no education. I rely on my education (especially language) a lot to figure things out here and I can’t imagine being in their position. I certainly don’t take it for granted anymore.

We certainly do live in a great country (the US) despite what we think of politically, economically, etc. No matter how hard you think life in the US is, you can guarantee that it is always harder for people somewhere else in the world.

Dzien Dobry!

Dzien Dobry or “Jane Dobre” ! This means good day or good morning in Polish. As you can see, this is one of the many challenges with trying to speak Polish. Nothing sounds the way it is spelled and vice versa. Some other examples:

Please or Prosze is pronounced “Proh-sheh”
Thank you or Dziekuje is pronounced “Jane Koo Yeh”

Yes is “tak” and no is “nie.” At least that sounds the same as the written word.

We have been here now for 2 weeks and this is pretty challenging. I think that my brain has made so many new connections that it has gained some new brain cells. People ask me if I’ve explored the city. I have been out around my neighborhood, to the grocery store, some restaurants, the park and mall, but touristy areas I have yet to check out. Why not? Because moving to a new country is very different from vacationing in one as you will see below.

In addition to looking up words in my Polish-English dictionary, I have spent the last week relearning metric conversions for distance, weight, volume, and temperatures. Time is on the 24 hour clock more commonly known in the US as “military time.”

Despite making a grocery list to include Polish translations for what I needed, grocery shopping still took us about 3 hours this past weekend which felt more like an 8 hour work day. On Saturday, which is when we went, it was a madhouse. This is also complicated by the fact that for the Polish the concept of personal space is lost. I have been told that due to the years of Communism here, they are used to waiting in line and getting very close to the people in front of them to avoid people cutting in. I don’t know how accurate this is. It is definitely cultural, but very annoying to my American need for personal space. People will get right in front of you while you browse and don’t even excuse themselves.

Everything seems to take longer. When you pick out produce, you have to take it to a counter where it is weighed and a sticker is placed on the bag that states the price instead of the scanner weighing it at checkout. When you checkout, there is no one to bag groceries for you either. We are so spoiled in the US. Once we are done with checkout, we have to go to guest services to get a VAT receipt. VAT or Value Added Tax is added to practically everything you buy in Europe and can be as much as 22%. Luckily, the Embassy reimburses us for VAT, but we must secure the receipt first. In a way, it is like a monthly savings account since you get lots of cash back every 6 months. By the time we finished shopping on Saturday, we all needed naps and some aspirin.

In regards to the language, the first week, I had no clue what Thing 2 was eating except for the picture on the food jar. They have Gerber here and a German brand called HIPP. Nestle is big here and their NAN formula is widely available. I tried to transition Thing 2 to this formula on Friday but failed to think about one big problem – how much formula to how many ounces of water. Everything is in milliliters and in Polish. The scoop is also much smaller. I was thinking how much different can it be. She takes about 8 ounces 3 times per day and in the US it is 1 scoop per 2 ounces. So I was giving her 4 scoops. Well, I took the can with me to Thing 1's school for a translation and it turns out that with this formula it is 1 scoop per ounce. I was giving her 4 scoops and it should have been 8. Well, she was very hydrated, but not getting much nutrition. I guess it’s better than if I had given her too much and strained her kidneys.

Driving here is scary. The roads here are awful and I hear that in Warsaw it is better than driving in other more rural areas. Some roads are still dirt roads. Cars squeeze tightly next to each other. They tailgate and cut in front of cars kind of like they do in the USA only the driving resembles that of a NYC cab driver. If driving is scary, walking is even more daunting. You have to be very careful when you turn a corner because cars turn very fast and may not notice you are standing at the curb or walking up the street. Other than this, it is pretty safe to walk around the city.

Thing 1 started his new preschool this week. The International Preschool of Warsaw (IPW) http://www.preschool.pl is located in a 4 level town house. He has done better than I could have hoped for. His teacher was very welcoming and apparently had talked to the kids about Thing 1 arrival. They were very friendly to him and by the end of the first day he was already talking about his “friends.” He already has a few girls flirting with him in the mornings. He is oblivious to this although he likes to play with them. He is definitely enjoying himself.

The children are multiethnic. There are some American kids, Polish kids, German kids, Austrian Kids, Danish kids, and Korean kids. Some of them are not fluent in English, but I think their parents enrolled them in this school in hopes that they would pick up English. The classes are small and there are 2 teachers per class. Each floor of the school houses a different class. Their curriculum includes science, math, Polish culture class, music, art and drama class catered to their level of understanding. For example, last week for science, they talked about the weather and seasonal changes since autumn is in full swing here. For drama, they pretended to be autumn leaves. In Polish culture class, they learned some colors in Polish and some Polish words. Music and art are similar to what you would find in the US. They were learning to write letters and numbers as well just as Thing 1 has been this past year.

Not having a car yet, we rely on taxis and bus transportation. I mostly take the taxi to take Thing 1's to school and walk everywhere else. The Cat in a Hat takes the bus to work. Some of the Cat in a Hat's colleagues pick us up to take us to the stores or to social gatherings. I still miss my car. I don’t like depending on other people to take me places even if I pay them to do so.

I registered with the local “Mums and Tots” group http://www.mumsandtots.com. They have about 160 members from all over the world and have activities everyday of the week mostly for children under 3, but they are starting a preschool playgroup in November. I’m waiting for Thing 2 to get over her cold before I take her. We thought she was getting better, but I think Thing 1 brought something home from school last week because he was also coughing and had a runny nose. Now, they both have the same cold. The weather may have something to do with it as it has gotten much cooler in the past week. The high was in the 60’s with a low in the 40’s this week and very windy which made it much cooler. By next week, the highs will be in the 50’s and the lows in the 30’s. The kids have already started wearing their coats and Thing 2 looks like an Eskimo in hers.

We got our Armed Forced Network (AFN) box connected. This provides us with programming from the US a day after it airs there. They have a family channel that has all the shows Thing 1 enjoyed back home. This is great because I was getting really tired of watching the same taped shows over and over. They connected the box on Friday and after it loaded we had the channels but no sound. The Cat in a Hat bought some video cables to reconnect the box and now we have sound, but a black and white picture. We have to try to figure this out. Our DSL connection may take weeks because one of Josh’s colleagues arrive in late August and he still doesn’t have his. Polish TV is interesting. They seem to have Polish versions of shows that we are familiar with. For example, they have “Deal or No Deal” and Super Niania (Supernanny).

While people and establishments are kid friendly, many places are not equipped for their needs. For example, I couldn’t even find a high chair in the mall food court to feed Thing 2. The baby changing areas were locked and I have no idea where to get the key. There was a sign above the door which I took a picture of so that I could translate it later. I think it will tell me where to get a key. It’s like a scavenger hunt.

Not as easy as it looks kids! I'm sure we will adapt soon though!

The Expatriate Community in Warsaw

My impression is that the expatriate community here is quite large and tight knit. It not only includes the usual government personnel, but also employees of American companies based here. We went to the Embassy on Friday and spent sometime there grabbing some items at the commissary and checking in with the Cat in a Hat's office. They showed us around and scheduled us both (I didn’t know I had to do all this) for briefings with different offices including a meeting with the Ambassador. Things appear to be very organized.

There is a “Mums and Tots” group made of the expatriate community in general that I will be joining with Thing 2 as soon as I get Thing 1 to school. They plan daily activities for mothers and children (meetings at coffee houses, parks, malls, play parks (like Chuck E Cheese) etc.). An American Community Association (ACA) assists us with everything from setting up our mobile phones and satellite TV to taking our car for servicing when needed. They will even go with you to by a car and will serve as a translator in other situations. The ACA also arranges trips within Poland and to neighboring countries. There is a medical office that consists of several pediatricians on the local economy. They speak English and make house calls. If you are sick, you call the Embassy and they will put you in touch with one of the doctors. The Embassy also offers tours of the local hospitals in case we ever need to go there (hopefully not!).

They offer Polish classes a few times per week. This will be great because all I know how to say is “good morning.” One thing I did notice is that some words resemble other languages. So, if it contains a word similar to the one in English, Spanish, Italian or French, I can pretty much understand the topic that is being discussed, but not specifics.

Yesterday, we went to a BBQ hosted by another couple who works at the Embassy. We were able to meet lots of people, all very friendly, including Thing 1's preschool director who will be picking us up sometime this week to take us to the school and orient Thing 1 before he starts. Thing 1 was very outgoing and friendly. He was chasing some girls shortly after we got there. He seems to have a thing for older women since this is not the first time he has done this

So far, we feel quite at home here in Warsaw!

Shopping in Poland.

Shopping was an adventure. They do have many American brands here in the local stores. It’s amazing how the human mind looks for the familiar when you are in a different environment. It’s like you gravitate towards what you know, your comfort zone.

Our sponsor took us shopping at a local grocery store that is connected to our local mall, the Sadyba mall. The Cat in the Hat's colleague, took us to the larger markets. These types of stores are called hypermarkets and they have everything you could possibly need to buy. They resemble Target/Walmart Supercenters that have grocery stores within. All these stores accept credit/debit cards. Smaller local stores accept cash only. Aside from American goods which may be a bit pricier, other items are really cheap. My grocery bill was cut in half.

It took us about 3 hours to complete our shopping, doing our best to figure out what different products were. Pictures helped! We were exhausted after that outing.

Our Polish House

The many pictures of our home that were sent to us did not express how large our house would be. We have a townhouse. Most townhouses in the US can be on the small side. On the outside, it does not this house does not look like much. But, once we opened the fortress that was our door (a steel door with large (really large) old keys that led to a regular door with regular keys)…it was something else. For those of you who have read or seen Harry Potter’s Goblet of Fire, it is similar to when they arrived at the campsite for the Quidditch World Cup and entered what looked like a regular tent only to find a huge suite awaiting them. That was what it was like!

The bottom level consists of a furnished basement complete with a sunken fireplace, living room furniture and an area that can be used for another bedroom or a playroom. It has a half bath. This is Thing 1's favorite room because the sunken fireplace has a bench that surrounds it and he thinks it is a “campfire.” He would like to roast marshmallows and sit around the fire to sing songs. We have to find marshmallows soon….On the bottom level is a door that leads to the garage, another door to a laundry room/furnace area, and yet another door for storage. There is even an extra freezer in the basement.

As you go up the stairs, past the entrance, you come to the 1st level which is the main living area consisting of the kitchen, dining room, living room, den and a full bath with a shower. The pictures of the kitchen made it look small at first, but it is actually quite large and has more cabinet space than I originally thought. The dining room is furnished with a dining room table, server table, china cabinet, and a wine cabinet.

The living room has your usual living room furniture, a TV with VCR and DVD player. There is a door that leads to a large deck that then leads to some stairs into a fenced in backyard. They even have wood under the deck for the fireplace. The dogs love the yard. We have never had a fenced in yard so this is great to let them run around in without them wandering off. The den is equipped with office furniture, computer, and bookcase.

As you go up the stairs to the 2nd level, you proceed to the bedrooms, and master bath The rooms are quite large. There is a walk in closet separate from the bedrooms. Each room has a wardrobe. Thing 1 thinks this is cool and also a bit scary since he saw the Lion Witch and the Wardrobe and seems to think that Narnia is in his closet too. Thing 1's room has a twin bed, dresser, armoire and desk with bookcases. Thing 2's has a twin bed, night table temporary crib, dresser, armoire and a nice comfy chair that is great for bedtime bottles. Our room has 2 wardrobes, a dresser, armoire, and two nightstands. All the bedrooms have ceiling fans and the master bedroom has air conditioning. The rest of the house does not, but it really doesn’t need it since it stays quite nice inside with the fans alone and open windows when necessary. Each room has a balcony.

The master bath is huge. It has a shower, tub, his and her sinks, and lots of cabinets for linens and other personal items. The floors are heated so when you step out of the shower you don’t encounter a cold floor in the winter. In fact, there are hardwood floors throughout the house that are heated. There is area carpeting under the furniture. All the rooms have curtains. While I am not a fan of curtains because of Thing 1 and my asthma/allergies, and the color and style of the curtains is not what I would prefer, they do have a bright side. The kids can’t tell when the sun is up (they usually wake up with the sunrise) and because of this they have both been sleeping in. It has been great.

The 2nd level has a spiral staircase that leads to the 3rd level which consists of a small attic and another full bath. This small attic is a loft that overlooks Thing 1's room. He loves it because it is a decent size play area where he can finally leave out his many playsets that did not fit in our home before. There is a large park with a huge playground around the block from our house.

Most Polish housing have bars because while crimes against people are virtually non existent, there is crime against property and burglaries do happen. When I tell you that the house is a fortress, I mean that. There is an alarm system, steel doors to all main entryways in addition to your usual door and bars on the windows. If someone really wanted to break in, they are going to really have to work at it. You should have seen the keys that came to the door - the big old keys like the ones used to jail prisoners in the old days. I actually have keyholes I peek through.

Some interesting differences we noted right away had to do with the light switches and doors. The light switch is on the outside of the bathroom and other common areas, rather than inside, yet they are located inside for the bedrooms. When you think about it, that makes more sense than having them inside a room. Further, some doors open out while others open in. That was not as bad as the light switches. I have spent the last few days confused reaching for a light switch inside the bathroom.

Toilets are also different. For one, they have flush control so that you don't use up as much water. They also seem to not have much water in them as a rule. Only when you flush does the bowl fill up.

Overall, we are happy with our house. The only thing I would change is the drab couches we were given. We shipped our bedroom furniture (not pictured here), but did not ship our living room/dining room furniture. Now I wish we had!

The Warsaw Airport

The Warsaw airport is not as modern as most European airports. However, all the signs were in Polish and English. Airport personnel spoke English. It was very easy to navigate through the airport. The airport only has one Terminal so it is very busy. After we collected our many bags and our dogs (who survived their ride in cargo), we were greeted at the airport by not only our social sponsor, but also the Ambassador’s wife. That was a bit unexpected and surprising. I don’t know if that is protocol or not, but she brought us some flowers which was very nice. We were picked up by an Embassy van and whisked to our new home for the next three years.

Moving to Warsaw, Poland

After months of planning, preparation, and a three day pack out, we left the United States and made it to Poland on Thursday afternoon/Thursday morning . It was difficult saying good-bye especially for my mother. Thing 1 was very sad to say goodbye to his grandmother, aunt and uncle and his cousin. We had lots of talks about feeling happy and sad at the same time and how missing people we love is normal. He became anxious and developed a rash for which he was given some Atarax both to treat the rash and calm him down. I only needed to use it that first day because once we got going he seemed to be fine.

It was a long, but uneventful trip although it took us nearly 2 ½ hours to check in and get through security in the United States. We literally went through security and went straight to the gate to board our flight.  It was great since the overnight flight allowed both kids to sleep. Thing 1 slept from the beginning of the flight to the end. Thing 2 woke up sporadically throughout the night. She was very excited throughout the trip and traveled better than she did back in August.

The worst that happened was that we left Thing 1’s DVD player with all his favorite movies on board our first flight. Luckily, United Airlines tracked it down and are mailing it to my mother as I write so she can ship it back to us. Thing 1 has no idea that this occurred because he has been keeping very busy playing all over his new home and watching his favorite TV shows that I taped over the last two months while he was at school. Don’t ask, don’t tell policy if you ask me. Hopefully, I will get it back before he even asks.